Opah passed away last Friday just before Friday prayer. She was buried at night after Maghrib. Until today I did not know why they were rushing things. I initially thought that the burial will take place the next morning when everyone is here. My aunts and cousins were late and Opah has been brought to the mosque for solat jenazah already. I cannot ask mother because she was mean, as she usually is.
Since it was after Maghrib the cemetery was already dark with no street lights around. We had to park our cars nearby the area, keep the engines running so that the lights from the cars can help out. I was pissed of with the AJK because of stupid mats! They wanted to know whether the mats are new, where are the old ones, we do not want to use new ones, bla bla bla....
Before that when we were still at home no one recited Surah Yassin or even mengaji. Those old stupid ungrateful women were busy talking like they were attending a school reunion. I hope they all die in shame and people will even sing and be merry at their corpses. Stupid, stupid mad women! I was lucky I had not stayed there long.
My conclusion is mother being so mean wanted to get it done immediately because she did not want to wait for her arch-enemy sister. Mother was so mean, she was angry when my aunt did not want any of Opah's clothes because she already has them at her home (that was when my aunt went back home already). My uncle said that it would had been easier if the tahlil took place during the day. He had to rush to and fro because of work the next morning.
I want to say so many but nothing can be said to mean mother. Now she can enjoy her life, no husband and no mother to take care of. I want to see whether she does what she said she barely can do before like mengaji and watch agama programmes. I want to see whether she will have a happier life with her unmarried son and daughter. The lists never end.
This entry is supposedly for my Opah but mean mother dominates. Opah is not going to be around and I don't feel like going back to kampung anymore. What a pity, my future children will never have a kampung for raya. If they were lucky enough their kampung will be mean mother's house!
I am not a person who like to express my dissatisfaction or find comfort in anyone. However, I always feel fine and calm listening to Opah's stories. I am jealous to see that my neighbour often has someone visiting her. Her friends and relatives. My neighbour can text her husband anytime and he will text back. I think it takes him a minute or two only. I saw her called her husband and her sisters maybe for a few minutes. Talking and listening to Opah was good. I did not tell her anything but most of the time I was the listener although we seldom met. At least there is someone to have a conversation with.
Now that Opah has passed away I think my communication skill will rot soon. As I mentioned before Opah and I seldom met but I talked to her in my head. Whenever I went back to kampung I like to listen to Opah rather than my mother. Mother likes to talk bad about everyone and that made my head and my heart ached. My heart ache even when I am just thinking about it.
I never thought Opah would go so soon. She looked alright the last time I saw her. I imagined she got well and very healthy. I had imagined us going for a holiday to Tanjung Jara, my favourite place. Of course with me driving (as if I had a driving licence!) and of course with heavy heart my mother and my aunts tagged along. I didn't want to bother Mr Husband since I had my driving licence already. Neither my brother nor my sister were in my dream. I imagined myself spending lavishly on food and accommodation. We didn't have to go to the restaurant for breakfast because the accommodation came with a personal butler service mind you!
But most of the time dreams never come true. Because Opah is not here anymore. The only thing to do is doa, mengaji and sedekah Al Fatihah.
